I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
