That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There r osticjed everywhere
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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