I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize