meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
