Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You are the jesus of drinking
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
