I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
