ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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