one two three fourrrrnication!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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