how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
