Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
