I am spending my child support on dildos
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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