just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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