all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
