Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
did i walk over a car last night?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
