Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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