I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
