Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
