It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just had sex on a roof
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize