I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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