already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
