I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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