No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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