Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize