No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize