Duck Duck Cougar?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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