Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
