My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
