dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
