ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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