I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we're chasing vodka with high fives
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize