I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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