He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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