His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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