I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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