Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
