She is in my trunk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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