If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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