so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
