would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
