adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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