I hate your face
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
