you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
