We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
should my penis look like a turkey
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
