I feel like I'm in dance class right now
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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