I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
