is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
