This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
