It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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