it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
