my mouth tastes like poor choices
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
