Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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