I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
