More tranny stories later!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
