ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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