week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
