We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
