No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
