nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Randomize