Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
