Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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