She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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