believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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