i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
