we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
