wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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